Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
