I love having hate sex.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It's blow job season.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize