My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
