ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize