I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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