I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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