Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
