YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
