Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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