he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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