I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
