so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
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