She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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