I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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