Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
