I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
