Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Boobs are out for the taking
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
