he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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