Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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