Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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