You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
