Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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