But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
