Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
