let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
