glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
