She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize