wakey wakey hands off snakey
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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