Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
