Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
