Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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