Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
