Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
