Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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