at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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