Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
