id be glad to
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
