Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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