i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
