Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
