Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
