I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
