so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
