I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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