he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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