Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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