you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
