I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
