I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
