Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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