when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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