I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
