And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
