Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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