I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
