just survived the first fart of the relationship.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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