You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
