so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
