Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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