I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
