What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
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You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
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also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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