What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
