one might say we're banned from that church
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
