Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize