absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
