I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
